Article: Suicidal thoughts; Remedy

By Stephen Onwuka

Suicide is when someone ends their own life. 

This section looks at why someone might think about suicide and how you can help them. 

People think about suicide for different reasons.

If you are worried that someone may be thinking about suicide, talk to them. Ask them about how they are feeling.

Talking to someone about their suicidal thoughts does not make them more likely to end their life.

You can help someone who is feeling suicidal by listening, without judging them

You can support someone to think about other options to deal with their feelings. Such as accessing support from counseling clinics, charities or self-help.

Small gestures such as saying ‘hello’ or asking, ‘how are you today?’ can sometimes make a big difference to how someone is feeling.

If someone is in crisis you may need to get help from mental health services or the emergency services.

If someone tries to end their life, this is not your fault.

What makes someone think of suicide?

People will think of suicide for different reasons. If someone is exposed to a ‘risk factor’ it needs to be assumed that suicidal thoughts are more likely to happen.

A risk factor might include:

difficult life events. Such as a traumatic childhood or experiencing physical or emotional abuse,

something upsetting or life changing such as a relationship ending or a loved one dying,

anger at other people,

misusing drugs or alcohol,

living alone or having little social contact with other people,

having a mental health condition such as depression, schizophrenia or personality disorder,

having a physical health condition, especially if this causes pain or serious disability, or

problems with work or money.

Can antidepressants cause suicidal thoughts?

There are lots of studies about a possible link between antidepressants and feeling suicidal. But results are inconclusive. It is thought that risk may be higher during the first 28 days of starting antidepressants or reducing them. Someone taking medication should be monitored during these periods.

Someone taking antidepressants may be more likely to have suicidal thoughts and behaviors if they are under 25. It doesn’t mean that antidepressants shouldn’t be given for people under 25 but risks and benefits need to be thought about. If someone on medication talks about being suicidal it may be caused by the medication.

Why may someone end their life?

There are lots of reasons why someone may end their life. Some reasons are:

escape what they feel is an impossible situation,

relieve unbearable thoughts or feelings, or

relieve physical pain or incapacity.

What kind of thoughts may someone have?

When someone feels suicidal, they may have some of the thoughts listed below.

I have let myself and other people down.

I am a burden.

I am a failure.

No one needs me.

What’s the point in living?

I will never find a way out of my problem.

I have lost everything.

Things will never get better for me.

Nobody cares about me.

I’ll show them what they have done to me.

Some people feel guilty for thinking about suicide if they have people who care about them. This can sometimes make the feelings of despair worse.

Warning signs

What are the warning signs that someone feels suicidal?

A change in someone’s personality and behavior might be a sign that they are having suicidal thoughts. You may be the best judge of when someone you know is behaving differently.

Changes can include:

becoming anxious,

being more irritable,

being more confrontational,

becoming quiet,

having mood swings,

acting recklessly,

sleeping too much or too little,

not wanting to be around other people,

avoiding contact with friends and family,

having different problems with work or studies, or

saying negative things about themselves.

There are some indicators that suggest someone is more likely to attempt suicide. These include:

threatening to hurt or kill themselves,

talking or writing about death, dying or suicide,

preparing to end their life. Such as storing up medication, or

putting affairs in order. Such as giving away belongings or making a will.

Signs that something is wrong can sometimes be more difficult to spot. Such as a cheeriness which may seem fake to you. Or they may joke about their emotions. Such as saying something quite alarming that is disguised as a joke. Don’t ignore your gut feeling if you are concerned about someone. Some people won’t be open about how they are feeling.

A lot of people try to seek help before attempting suicide by telling other people about their feelings. This could be a professional, friend or family member. If someone tells you about how they are feeling don’t ignore them.

Helping someone

How can I help someone who is feeling suicidal?

If you think that someone may be feeling suicidal, encourage them to talk about how they are feeling.

You may feel uncomfortable talking about suicidal feelings. You may not know what to say. This is entirely normal and understandable.

It might help to:

let them know that you care about them and that they are not alone,

empathize with them. You could say something like, ‘I can’t imagine how painful this is for you, but I would like to try to understand,’

be non-judgmental. Don’t criticize or blame them,

repeat their words back to them in your own words. This shows that you are listening. Repeating information can also make sure that you have understood them properly,

ask about their reasons for living and dying and listen to their answers. Try to explore their reasons for living in more detail,

ask if they have felt like this before. If so, ask how their feelings changed last time,

reassure them that they will not feel this way forever,

encourage them to focus on getting through the day rather than focusing on the future,

ask them if they have a plan for ending their life. Ask what the plan is,

encourage them to seek help that they are comfortable with. Such as help from a doctor or counselor, or support through a charity such as the Samaritans,

follow up any commitments that you agree to,

make sure someone is with them if they are in immediate danger,

try to get professional help for the person feeling suicidal, and

get support for yourself.

Remember that you don’t need to find an answer, or even to completely understand why they feel the way they do. Listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

If you are not sure that someone is feeling suicidal, ask:

“Are you thinking about suicide?” or

“Are you having thoughts of ending your life?”

These questions are direct. It is better to address the person’s feelings directly rather than avoiding the issue. Asking about suicide won’t make it more likely to happen.

What won’t help someone who is feeling suicidal?

When someone tells you that they are feeling suicidal your response may be to:

try and find an easy solution,

tell them to ‘cheer up’, ‘pull themselves together’, ‘man up’ or ‘snap out of it,’

change the subject,

tell them that they have no reason to feel like that,

tell them that they shouldn’t feel like that

tell them that they should be grateful for having a good life, or

tell them that are being silly.

These responses are unlikely to be helpful. They may make someone feel:

rejected,

unheard,

alone,

like ‘no one understands,’

guilty,

patronized,

criticized, or

analysed.

Reassurance, respect and support can help someone to recover from a difficult time.

What if someone is saying they want to end their life now?

Talking about suicide can be a plea for help. Don’t assume that someone wont attempt to take their own life if they talk about suicide. Always take suicidal feelings seriously.

If you talk to someone about their feelings and it seems as though they want to end their life soon, try to keep them safe in the short term.

How do I keep them safe?

It is unlikely that you will be able to make their feelings go away, but you can help them by:

not leaving them on their own,

talking to them. See the beginning of this section for more information,

seeking professional help. See the following section for more information,

helping them to create a crisis plan, and

removing items that they can end their life with.

The removal of items will depend on what their immediate plan is to end their life. Examples include:

sharp objects such as razor blades and knives,

cleaning products,

drugs, and

belts, cords, wires and rope.

What’s a crisis plan?

A crisis plan is sometimes called a safety plan. Ideally a crisis plan should be made before someone is in crisis, but it is never too late to start.

If someone is being supported by a care coordinator, they should already have a crisis plan in place. You can ask them to show you their crisis plan. But it is their choice if they show you or not.

The aim of a crisis plan is to think about what support someone needs when they are in crisis. This may include:

not being alone,

removing certain objects from the home,

talking to a certain person or helpline,

talking to a professional,

distraction techniques, and

including reasons to live, such as pictures of family.

Distraction techniques can include:

Read a book or magazine

Watch a film or TV

Go to a museum

Walk in a green space like a park

Draw or paint

Listen to music

Sing

Listen to nature

Spend time with a pet

Always seek for the help of a counselor or close friends to talk to when you're feeling depressed.

YOUR LIFE IS PRECIOUS!

For more info visit the nearest counseling clinic around you or contact Theglobal7 on 09038309888